cleaning bathrooms

You walk into your guest bathroom and see pee splatter on the back of the lid. If you have little boys you know what I’m talking about.

So you size it up. And classify it.

1) Small and semi transparent: Nah…you have at least another full day before worrying about this. Go pour yourself another cup of coffee and enjoy looking at cute animal videos on Facebook.

pee 1

2) Growing a bit in size but still semi-transparent: It still looks manageable and hasn’t entered the category of things that are disgusting to moms yet, so mosey on your way and focus on your laundry. Because your kids have no more clean underwear for bedtime tonight. Where are your priorities?!

3) Same size as the day before, but .006 Centimeters thicker and is now showing signs of butter cream opaqueness: Now it is time to start letting this bug you a tiny bit, BUT NOT MUCH!  It is still the same diameter as it was yesterday and unless you get at eye level to observe the thickness (and who does that anyway) you will never notice. Put this on your chore to-do list. At the bottom.

pee 2

4) Diameter mysteriously expanded 1.3 inches all around and is now deepening to a medium shade of crayola’s burnt umber:  Classification has changed to serious and needs your attention ASAP. ASAP can be a broad term here and subject to your interpretation.

pee 3

5) Diameter has not grown but the color of burnt umber is getting more saturated and sticky. You now have flakes of toilet paper dried on top and also something else you aren’t sure of what origin: It is now time to put this at the very top of your chore list and stop being so lazy. Put on a pair of rubber gloves and grab the comet. Or grab your green cleaner if you are one of those.

pee 4

And then repeat tomorrow beginning at number one, because we all know a clean bathroom is only clean for 26 SECONDS!

However, there is one thing that changes this step by step process and should be noted.

The Mother-in-Law.

The following should be inserted after each point 1 through 5, if you receive a phone call that she is dropping by to see the grandchildren.

For all things holy and divine, stop what you are doing right now and run like mad to grab the comet, Windex, paper towels, broom, dustpan, and a CLEAN HAND TOWEL!! And a trash bag!!! Because your bathroom trash can is over-flowing and oh my gosh don’t you ever empty it anymore??

Disclaimer: Yes I know I spelled manageable wrong in one of my graphics above but I’ve already closed Photoshop and it takes forever to open and I am very impatient and busy so it will just have to stay that way. And I am not sorry.


I’m still mourning the death of my son, but he never died.

September 5, 2014 Parenting

Last night in my dream . . . one of my sons died. He was eight years old. One minute he was here. . . the next I was mourning death. My dream never told me how this happened. That’s probably a good thing. The realization of what was upon our family hit me the […]

Read the full article →

Stop criticizing us for pouring ice water over our heads for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

August 22, 2014 Mouthy Mabel

Most everyone with some tie to society has seen and heard of the ALS Association’s meme of the ice water challenge to raise funds and awareness for Lou Gehrig’s disease. Many people across our country and beyond have gladly taken on the challenge when called out by someone else. We have laughed. We have screamed. […]

Read the full article →

McDonalds and the ordering mystery

August 16, 2014 musings from my somewhat sane mind

I’m standing in the line at McDonald’s quickly scanning the picture menu up on the wall. I scan and stop at my favorite. The quarter pounder bacon and cheese. It gets me every time. Between standing in line with four children barking out questions (“What’s the Happy Meal toy today, Mommy?!)  and brushing elbows with […]

Read the full article →

Dear Diary: When did kids get so creepy?

July 14, 2014 Confessions

If you’ve just popped in and you haven’t been here in a while, or this is your first time, you will need to briefly read the post below this one. I’ll wait. Ok, so our room is done. Minus the decor and bedding which I haven’t decided on yet. I took a photo with my […]

Read the full article →