There Is This Fairy And She Is Kicking My Butt

by Deb McCormick on January 24, 2013

There are times in a mother’s life when she gets her act together. She is determined to stay on top of the game. She works hard the night before. The kitchen is clean on this particular night. The toys are all put away, the book bags are stacked neatly by the door and she even remembers to write a check for lunch money and put it in the “return to school” folder. All shoe laces are free of knots to enable easy tying the next morning. Clothes are already picked out and wait patiently on the counter, ready to be worn.

She stands and takes a slow look around her house and gives herself a mental high five. Now THIS is nice, she thinks to herself. She is proud of her accomplishments and is happy that tomorrow morning will be a good one. It will be organized and happy. There will be no mad dash for school the next morning with herself running out of the house without her coat, ON PURPOSE, because she is sweating from rushing that morning and the cold air is welcomed just like that big ole slice of chocolate cake she had last night after everyone else was asleep.

Oh no. Tomorrow will be different.

Until it isn’t.

Parents have a fairy. It isn’t a good one either. When you become a parent, fairies come out from everywhere to wreak havoc. They are evil and they hate parents. I am having an issue with one right now. She is kicking me in my most vulnerable spot.

Time Management.

She is… the Static Fairy.

As much as I try to stay on my game and run a house that flows well, something beyond my control happens when I am trying to get four kids ready and out the door by 7:15 AM.

The knot.

The kind of knot that would happen if someone teased their hair for eight straight hours. The kind of knot that would laugh at a dreadlock and say “HA,You can only dream of becoming me”.

The kind of knot that is really just one big mean mat. It can’t be combed. You have to start at the bottom and spread it out small piece by small piece to even get it untangled enough to start using a brush.

So yes. The static fairy kicked my butt this morning and even with my best intentions, we were late for school. Sadly, matted hair is not on the list of excused tardies.

I have concluded that my girls will hence forth wear a braid for the remaining winter months.

I WILL win, evil static fairy! Oh yes, I surely will!!

Until you shock the crap out of me when I reach for my coffee cup.

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