Welcome to The Herman and Wally Show: The Live Coverage of The Battle Of Mommy Bloggers

*Applause* Welcome to Herman and Wally’s live coverage of the battle of the Mommy Bloggers. *Applause*

“Well the stands are full ladies and gentlemen and WOW, is this crowd excited! It is as exciting as a housebroken puppy home alone for hours and then finding an Easter basket full of grass and chocolate eggs. Pee and eat – every dogs dream, HAHAHAHA HAHAHA hAA HA.”

(Silence)

“Ahem, This is a tough competition, Wally, with just a couple weeks left in this race!”

“That’s correct Herman, A HUGE lead for Baby Sideburns, Folks, who apparently grew a third nipple when she became pregnant.

“Talk about sympathy votes!  I mean, how can you NOT vote for someone with a third nipple??”

“I agree with you Wally –  I don’t know folks, she will be a tough one to beat.”

“Following in second place, is Insane in the Mom-Brain who grows unicorns.”

“Unicorns? Intriguing. And I will have to admit, Herman, I have voted for her a few times myself, heh heh heh”

(“ha, cough, haha, um Wally – xnay on the partiality aye…hahahahah”)

“Point taken Herman.”

“AND in third place, we have a suburban mom who, frankly, I am scared of Wally.  Apparently she is known for wanting to punch people in the butt.”

“Ah, actually Herman, the throat. She punches people in the throat  hahaha.”

“Haha, you are correct Wally. She is the one to look out for folks and we just don’t know if she will stay in third or rise to the top. Time will tell.”

“The desire to win is in full force folks and these ladies have a lot of fight left.”

“You are as correct as my preacher’s taxes, Herman. In forth place, we have someone who is holding on to someone named Holden.”

“Is that legal, Wally?”

“Not sure, Herman. But she is one to watch in this competition as she closes the gap for 3rd place.”

“And bringing up the rear, we have someone who is looking for a dumpster baby.”

“Wait. A dumpster baby, Wally? Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, Herman, that’s what it says right here hahahahaha”.

“Well, I’m sure if she finds one, she will be as happy as an ant walking on a cinnamon stick, hahahahaahhahahaha.”

(silence)

“WELL, that concludes our show for this evening. Be sure to tune in next time for The Herman and Wally Show, as we report on the other race contestants and give you our play by play news coverage.”

“I’m Wally”

“And I’m Herman”. Remember, life is just like a round ball and that’s how we roll.”

*applause”.

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