How to feed broccoli to a kid

May 10, 2013

in Humor Essays, Illustrations

Present platter of broccoli with a big smile and excitedly announce to your family that “dinner tonight is going to be AWESOME!”

Interrupt the beginning complaints and stink eyes directed at said platter of broccoli with “You know there are kids who do not even have anything to eat!”

illustration of kid eating broccoli

 

When they ask for more chicken or mashed potatoes, stick to your guns with your request that your kids must take at least one bite of the broccoli before they can have seconds of something else, OR leave the table.

Assure them that it is going to be hard changing into PJ’s while on the kitchen chair. And it will be equally as hard getting a good night’s sleep.

 

kid eating broccoli

 

Try to convince them that broccoli is just a glorified green bean.

And then be stern when they show signs of spitting it back out. Let them know the broccoli WILL go down and NOT out so they may as well get it over with.

 

eating broccoli

 

Don’t let their stubborn disposition get you down. You are twice as big and twice as smart as they are. Plus you have much more patience and are less likely to have a meltdown. Use that to your advantage.

 

kid eating broccoli

 

They may give you the stink eye but stay strong. You CAN do this.

 

kid eating broccoli

 

Start worrying about child abuse and brain damage because of lack of oxygen. Then start feeling sorry for them because they are now starting to cry. Tell your kid to spit it out in their napkin and “Would you like more potatoes sweetie?”

 

 

happy boy

 

Use this as one of those times you let yourself Pick Battles and then just let it go.

It is so much easier that way.

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Taylor Gilmore (@UrbanPhillyWomn) May 10, 2013 at 11:00 am

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/cdkMt0YZfb via @WrinkledMommy

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R. E. Mullins (@REMullins) May 10, 2013 at 12:24 pm

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/vbYzepMQo5 via @WrinkledMommy

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Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe May 10, 2013 at 2:37 pm

This one gave me flashbacks to fish and liver nights at my house growing up. I would sit at that table for HOURS and never give in. By the way, hide the other kids … I noticed on a new Marx Foods post that they sell Alpaca now. You can bet I won’t be eating that either LOL!! :(
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Deb McCormick May 11, 2013 at 12:49 pm

ewwww – we had liver nights too. I hated it. lol
And NO to Alpaca eating. That would be some expensive meat. I can’t imagine.
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@MyAddictionShop May 10, 2013 at 2:42 pm

RT @familyfocusblog: How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/hqYuoTYeLX via @WrinkledMommy

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Surprise Mama May 10, 2013 at 3:28 pm

I have not gotten to this stage yet… But this is laugh at loud funny! I spit out my broccoli reading it!!

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Deb McCormick May 11, 2013 at 12:50 pm

Thanks :)
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Ruth May 10, 2013 at 4:01 pm

I don’t have that problem with broccoli. Asparagus is what my kid doesn’t like.
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Deb McCormick May 11, 2013 at 12:50 pm

I haven’t even gotten to the point of trying Asparagus. I don’t think I am strong enough yet. lol
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Karen Hug-Nagy May 10, 2013 at 4:28 pm

That’s hilarious! I love the pictures, especially the green hue in his face. My kids won’t eat broccoli either, and they think asparagus is just plain weird. Tell them my Mom made us eat mixed veggies, I think at that time it came in a frozen box, it was terrible, I think that’s worse than broccoli anyday :)

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Deb McCormick May 11, 2013 at 12:53 pm

My mom made us eat peas and to this day, I still don’t like them. I may be forced to buy that cookbook where you put veggies in things like cake and brownies. I fear my kids would notice regardless. I mean, how can you really not notice green specks in chocolate?
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@SyrinxZA May 10, 2013 at 11:16 pm

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@TacklingOurDebt May 11, 2013 at 6:49 am

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/RRzHleFzh9 via @WrinkledMommy

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Indie Book Reviews (@MasqRev) May 11, 2013 at 3:08 pm

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/I7eIGQa88k via @WrinkledMommy

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Christian SuperMom (@ChrstianSuprMom) May 11, 2013 at 7:09 pm

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/i1hObJQpKf via @WrinkledMommy

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Loup Dargent (@loup_dargent) May 11, 2013 at 11:57 pm

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/c9jkbDG1Ll via @WrinkledMommy

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@Dawn_Abraham May 12, 2013 at 12:18 am

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Christy Garrett (@upliftingfam) May 12, 2013 at 3:29 am

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@harleenas May 12, 2013 at 5:27 am

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@afterlaundry May 12, 2013 at 9:17 am

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@IrishCarter1 May 12, 2013 at 8:05 pm

How to feed broccoli to a kid http://t.co/yGd3l2aBWI via @WrinkledMommy

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Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. June 11, 2013 at 10:00 pm

That is so funny, Debbie! I cracked up at the teary eyes picture! My daughter has been known to gag mouthfuls of healthy food into the trash. And yeah, pick your battles!
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Sarah Almond June 12, 2013 at 1:39 am

I was that kid. One of my two children is that kid. Every generation my family churns out another eater with serious food aversions. My son hates about 80% of the food on the world’s surface. It’s a challenge finding that other 20% that he likes!

Thanks for hooking up with us for the Humor Me Blog Hop!
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Tarana October 17, 2014 at 3:45 am

Haha, loved your illustrations!
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Jill October 17, 2014 at 8:25 am

Great read. Definitely know when to pick your battles!
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Lisa @ The Golden Spoons October 17, 2014 at 9:32 am

HeHe! My hubby tried to make my youngest daughter eat fried okra once and she actually gagged and threw up! Needless to say, he lost that battle of wills!
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denise October 17, 2014 at 11:11 am

So true.
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Denise G. October 17, 2014 at 2:17 pm

Cute! LOL
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Chris Carter October 17, 2014 at 10:50 pm

HA!!! I have literally had my kids GAG on some foods, and one time my daughter actually threw up. Geesh.

Pick your battles, indeed!
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jhanisl October 18, 2014 at 10:06 am

Kids! But yes, choosing one’s battles wisely can save our sanity.
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