It’s that time again. The brand new fundraiser book is in my child’s book bag just waiting for me to pull it out, open it, and smell its glossy pages while rubbing my cheek all over it (wait you don’t do that?) and scour every page (WOW LOOK AT THAT!!) deciding on what I will buy so my little Cherubs can win stuff.
Let me try this again…
It’s that time again. The brand new fundraiser book is in my child’s book bag just waiting for me to pull it out and toss it on the kitchen counter while barking out, “UGH NOT AGAIN!!” Then realizing, yet again, that I have no one to pester to buy stuff except my mom.
These things happen when you’re out in the country AND work from home.
So, I’m reading over the information letter enclosed, and it tells me there is a prize (a monkey) if 2 items are sold, another prize (a monkey) if 6 items are sold, and another prize (a monkey) if 12 items are sold. And of course all my delirious offspring are jumping up and down with glistening eyes and airborne hair because they CAN”T WAIT for the bouncy house party and OH MY GOSH IT IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!.
(Which you have to sell at least 8 things to be able to cut class and go to that party.)
I am getting ready to break the news and tell them the monkey necklace they are wearing around their neck, which totally compliments their PJ’s I will add, that they received to kick off the fundraiser, will probably be the only one they will get.
But I wait until they are finished telling me about Sally(name changed so I won’t be sued) who sold hundreds of items and will get awarded the whole COMPLETE set of monkeys, get the Bounce House Party, Annnnnnd a ride in a Limo to get ice cream DURING SCHOOL!!!!!”
I could never be friends with her parents.
But wait! I notice something attached to the book. A letter tells me that donations are appreciated and that we could donate $36.00 which would give the kids credit for 6 things sold. That calculates out to $6 bucks each so really it is a good deal in order to get them their extra monkeys. PLUS, I could bypass all the sales pitches and just make the donation.
“How much do they have to sell to get the BIG monkey and also go to the Bounce House Party”, my mother asked.
“Well, if you donate $36.00, then I’ll also donate $36.00, and that will get them to 12 pretend items sold.”
“Brilliant…OKAY!!!” I happily agreed.
But then I started thinking…if we each donated $36.oo (6 items X $6.00) surely there are some things in the book for $6.00. If we were going to donate money we might as well get something in return. Right?
Unfortunately the selection for products that only cost $ 6.00, was only…
So I would like to let you know, my mother and I are now the proud owners of 12 packs of earring backs for the low price of $72.00
I’ve never been a fan of high maintenance monkeys.
But at least I have earring backs and shouldn’t run out until I’m…say…98.